no raining on this parade allowed.

so. i am LOVING my new job and everything that comes with it. i really am. it's awesome! those of you who know craig and i really well know that this job was a HUGE answer to prayer, and we are so thankful it worked out.

well to be honest, i just knew things were getting on that "too good to be true" level and as i've learned oh so many numerous times...that's when you gotta be careful. so maybe i've been a little paranoid lately. ya know, just subconsciously waiting for the devil to test me. well, hello. that wait wasn't long.

today was the day.

nothing bad or horrible happened. it was just something indirectly sketchy that i am certain is pertained to mistakes i have made in the past. it caused no harm or foul, and it's something nobody else even thought twice about, but it got to me. i really, really, REALLY didn't want it to get to me. but it did, dang it. to the point where i wanted to scream "IF I COULD TAKE IT BACK, I WOULD! DOESN'T THAT COUNT FOR SOMETHING??" but i know the answer. no, it doesn't count for anything....not in human-world anyway. people will always judge, they have a hard time forgiving, and they certainly never forget.

lucky for me my God doesn't judge me, he is always forgiving and he never looks at my sins when he looks at me. it's taken me a loooooong time to realize that. so, it's a good thing this is the last millo-second that i'm going to let this stupid thing that happened today bother me, huh? :) so, here you go, God. take these paranoid, self doubting, unworthy feelings and throw them in the dumpster and tell the devil to take a hike. i'm sick of his sneaky ways. and i'm not going to let him rain on my parade!