Saturday May 2nd, 2009
this past thursday (april 30th) i had my ultrasound. everything appeared to be pretty good. i am measuring two days past my original due date. so now i am due dec. 21st. the heartbeat was a little low at 116, but she assured me that was still good. the negative news was that i have a couple tears in my uterus, which can be normal, but it worries me because i had one the last time. if you click on the ultrasound picture, it will give you an up close version and you can see the tears. however last time i had the tear and i never let it heal because i was running so much. so i'm supposed to be taking it real easy and not lifting or straining.
i was so relieved to see the little heartbeat up there on the screen. but measuring behind what we thought makes me nervous because every day that passes is one more day that things are okay, and i feel like i had to give back two of those days. i am also worried about the tears. i really am trying to take it easy but it's just so hard here at the end of school trying to get everything done and finished out and not let my 5th graders stress me out, and then also having a 3 year old. does it sound like i'm complaining?? i feel like it does, but i'm really not. i am very thankful! i just have a lot on my mind.
i don't go back to the doctor until the end of may. and they'll do another ultrasound then. i'm praying that the tears are gone, the heartbeat is extra extra strong, and that my sunshine is growing perfectly on schedule. i really am trying not to worry myself to death...so i am making many cakes as
a distraction! and those cakes are going to buy a new crib! :)
Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
well, it would appear that the secret is out, so i might as well admit it! we've got a december baby on the way! december 19th, is our little sunshine's due date. God told us to keep the door open because His timing is perfect, so it's open and ready!
we really wanted to wait to tell... but some situations have happened that have led us to be outed earlier than expected. we are very excited, but also very hesitant. i have been given strict orders that i am not to even think about running until (more like if) my doctor says it's okay at around 12 weeks. after we lost our baby in january, she really wants me to take it easy and be over careful about everything. next week i will go for an ultrasound. i am a nervous wreck about what we may or may not see.
you know what's weird? i was talking to my mother-in-law the other night and i was telling her that when i was pregnant with ben, having a miscarriage never ONCE entered my thoughts. but last time and now, it's all i think about. every day that i don't get sick or feel tired or smell weird smells, i get very nervous. i know that all those pregnancy symptoms can be so annoying, but to be very honest- i am welcoming them. those symptoms help me know that my baby is growing. i'll throw up all day long if it gives me peace of mind that my baby is thriving.
it's amazing how invincible i have felt for most of my life. like nothing bad can happen and that even though i am a part of the human race, statistics don't apply to me--that stuff is for everyone else i always thought. well, i have to admit that reality has really sunk in the past year or so. i am so far from invincible and i have taken so much for granted. it is a MIRACLE that ben was born with no problems or complications, or that i had no problems during that pregnancy. God is so good and patient with people like me who can be very ignorant.
please help us pray for our little sunshine. we are nervous and scared, but we know God is in control and we're handing it over to Him.
here's a picture, just for kicks.... :)
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